Ah, 2012. Seven years ago. I owned a house. I had a big yard and garden full of amazing edible things. I had a three-year-old daughter. I was in grad school. I had, I think, no job? I did things like bake bread and make jam!
Hi, 2019! What’s up? Well, I’ll tell you! We sold the house. We moved, and then moved, and then moved AGAIN. We are renting and I pray to god we never move again even if it means we never again own a house. I graduated from school and became a teacher. And…now I’m not a teacher anymore. Because, hey! We have a three-year-old again! Obviously not the same one. She’s eleven now. ELEVEN. What the hell. Now she has a little brother. It’s been…a journey. Maybe I’ll get into it. Maybe I won’t. If I was the sort of person who planned, I would not be the Half-Assed Human.
About that. Remember 2012? “Homesteader”, even when meant in a kind of jokey wink-wink kind of way…it just wasn’t so…played-out? We didn’t even have influencers then! There was no Instagram! Or, I don’t know, there might have been, but it was different. But the point is, I could be like, “Hey, lol, I made some bread, I’m a funny homesteader”, but now things are weird. So I just felt like I had to change the name. Plus, I definitely do fewer cool homesteady things than I used to do, so that felt inaccurate, although part of the point of this is that I want to start doing more. But, I’m definitely still half-assed! Like, in all aspects of my life. But I still just want to write about things because I find it satisfying, even if nobody ever reads it, and even if the internet people hate me. So. Here I am. And here’s today!
So. We moved into this new house about a month and a half ago. I’m still becoming acquainted with all its plants, and also adding things as well. In the front yard there is a bed of ornamentals. It has a lonely Paw-paw tree (more on that another day), some really gross pigsqueak, a half-dead sandwort, and a lot of bearberry. In a fever of excitement I joined a bajillion plant-related Facebook groups, and the first thing I did was post pictures and an inquiry about what the hell is happening to this bearberry. A genius responded, simply, “Bugs.” But actually, a bit of research based on this simple response was so helpful! My plant professional days were so long ago at this point that I’m just out of practice, and as soon as I googled and found the word “galls” I was like OH MY GOD THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS. Aphids, the bastards. So, I’ve got some pruning to do to get those nasties out of there. I had sweet Hazel do some of it tonight but she was disgusted and moving very slow, which is actually reasonable. They’re kind of freaky. She was cutting the bearberry back while I was planting some strawberry plants that I got for free from Next Door. We’ll see what happens. I really don’t love this front bed, it’s just weird and super random and completely overrun with crabgrass. Like, it seems like a a crabgrass lawn. So. That’s what happened today in the outside.
I also got from the Buy Nothing group two huge beautiful “Zuzu plants”. I did not expect them to be so huge and lovely! They need new pots and I might even divide them, but they make our living room so much nicer.